Deciding whether to have just one child or more than one is a complicated decision many couples face. It is also handy to understand what roles children play in the family in relation to their birth order, as this can have an effect on the child’s behavior and personality.
Things to Consider When Having Only One Child
Many families decide to have only one child. This can be for many reasons, be it financial, the age of the parents when they conceive or career considerations. Some other things worth considering are the impact on the child. As an only child, they tend to mature quickly and tend to hand around the parents and other adults trying to become involved with adult conversations.
As adults, all the burden of taking care of the parents will fall to this only child. Whether it be mowing the lawns, doing the grocery shopping or taking parents to the doctor's appointments, there is no other sibling to share the load. Having said that, there are plenty of only children families that are well adjusted and very happy.
Things to Consider When Having More Than One Child
Despite the fact that raising one child would be easier than raising two or more, many parents feel it is their duty to provide their child with a sibling/playmate. There are often social and emotional pressures placed on parents of only children as well, especially when friends or relatives are having two or three children. Some important things to consider are how both parents will cope emotionally with another child, the age of the parents and whether they can cope physically.
They should consider their careers and where they want to be in five years' time. It is also important to consider whether another child would put a strain on the finances and the marriage itself. Another child could mean less time for the parents to spend with each other; however as the second child grows, it could mean that the two children can play together, giving the parents some free time.
As siblings from multi-children families grow up, they are able to rely on each other and form deep bonds that last throughout their lives. And they wont be left alone when the parents die.
What if One Parent Wants Only One Child and the Other Parent Wants More?
Issues as to whether or not to have children and how many to have should be discussed well and truly before the marriage or before the relationships becomes serious. However, human beings have been known to change their minds as their circumstances change. So what if the parents have different ideas on how many children to have?
Overcoming a problem like this begins with the parents discussing their reasons for wanting the number of children they want and the pros and cons. Some parents feel that they want a second child in case something happens to the first one. While this is a morbid thought, and a child should not be conceived as ‘backup’, many parents feel this is valid.
Financial and career goals should be considered as well as the strain on the relationship. It is also important to consider the feelings of the ‘only child’. If there is already one child, perhaps it would be worthwhile asking how they would feel about more children in the house. Remember that each person’s opinion should be heard and if possible try to reach a compromise. If discussions at home are not working out, couples should seek the help of a marriage councilor.
Roberta Goli - Roberta has a Bachelor of Science Degree (Zoology), has worked with animals for over 10 years and enjoys writing short stories and flash ...
